


Nancy Boy

by orphan_account



Category: Penn & Teller RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:37:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21664120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Relationships: Penn Jillette/Teller (Magician)
Kudos: 8





	Nancy Boy

Teller's laughter filled the tiny San Francisco apartment that he and Penn shared. Penn glared at the older man.

He had just told Teller about his visit to a gay bathhouse. His visit to a gay bathhouse as a straight man, with a fellow straight man accompanying him.

A visit which was supposed to make him feel better about himself, being a straight man in a gay world and comfortable with it, but which only made him feel infinitely worse about himself; although he wasn't attracted to men, he had been expecting _someone_ in there to be attracted to him, being a man. He knew he was no male model but still, he was male, and he didn't think he was _that_ hideous... but no one, absolutely no one expressed any interest in him at all. Even when he started flirting with them, inviting them to flirt back. No takers.

And he'd been expecting Teller to maybe just shake his head or roll his eyes at Penn's story, but not this. Not these howls of derisive laughter.

"What the fuck is so funny?"

Teller only laughed harder, falling onto his back on the couch and clutching his sides. Penn watched from the other end of the couch, eyes narrowed.

"You're seriously the biggest asshole I've ever known," muttered Penn.

Teller stopped laughing, sighing and wiping at his eyes, still lying on his back. "Penn... contrary to what you might believe, we gay men will not fuck literally _anything_."

The implication that Penn was 'literally anything' stung Penn. He wasn't sure why. He'd had worse things said to him, none of which had hurt this much. He pressed his lips together furiously, trying to stop himself from exploding at Teller.

"But I even _hit_ on guys there and _still_ no one made any moves on me. I mean yeah I get that I'm a disgusting piece of shit but come on."

"Honey, they're not gonna make any moves on you. You're a big butch top. You're supposed to go after _them_."

"I'm not butch though. I'm a six-and-a-half-foot sissy."

Teller laughed. "Not to them you're not." He lifted himself up on his elbows to look at Penn, smiling. "And you're _not_ a disgusting piece of shit by the way."

The semi-compliment sent Penn's heart fluttering, a reaction that again he tried to suppress. All Teller did was say Penn wasn't a piece of shit and Penn's insides went crazy. Penn shook his head.

From the moment they had met, Penn was never sure if he hated Teller or if he loved Teller. The emotions that Teller inspired in him were strong, but not always positive. He tried to stay focused on the show they did together. To leave emotion out of it.

He knew that everyone assumed something was going on between him and Teller. Even before they started sharing an apartment. They spent every moment they could together. Working on their show... Penn smiled to himself. It wasn't just about the show.

He looked Teller over on the couch. Teller had laid back down, head resting on the arm of the couch, eyes closed... not sleeping, just resting. His feet were in Penn's lap.

Penn stared at Teller's face for a long time. And finally one of Teller's eyes cracked open to look back at him.

Both eyes opened to gaze back at Penn.

Penn continued to stare for several more moments, and then he started crawling up over Teller's body, eyes still fixed on Teller's.

He stopped with his face directly above Teller's, staring down into the older man's eyes. His heart raced. Teller's eyes were wide open.

Penn studied Teller's face. "So... this is what I'm supposed to do then?"

He leaned down and claimed Teller's lips in a kiss. His heart pounding out a frantic beat. And then Teller tilted his head slightly and deepened the kiss, murmuring softly in approval.

Penn felt arousal spreading through him like wildfire as he kissed Teller, a reaction he hadn't quite been expecting. He'd intended the kiss to be more of a test of his straightness, like the visit to the bathhouse had been... he hadn't been expecting to find himself actually attracted to any men.

But Teller... Teller wasn't just 'any man.'

Teller's fingers had buried themselves in Penn's hair as they kissed. Penn pulled back, licking his lips and tasting Teller on them. Teller gave him a lusty grin. Penn grinned back when his mind registered their erections pressing together through their pants.

Penn leaned back down to tease Teller's lips with his, pulling back each time Teller tried to pull him in closer. He rocked his hips against Teller's, pressing their erections together more firmly, making Teller moan quietly.

After a minute or so of this Teller's moans took on a frustrated tone. Penn grinned wide.

"What's wrong?"

One of Teller's legs hooked itself around Penn's waist, pulling their hips together.

"What is it that you want?" Penn murmured into Teller's ear.

"Penn..."

"I'm listening."

Teller's head fell back in frustration. "Dammit, Penn."

"I'm not hearing an answer to my question."

"_Fuck me_."

Penn rolled his hips slowly against Teller's. "Louder," he breathed against the skin of Teller's neck.

Teller rolled his hips up against Penn's in turn and groaned against the younger man's ear. "_FUCK ME, PENN_."

"So demanding," said Penn with a broad grin as he started to work off Teller's pants.

Together they removed Teller's clothes. Penn wore no shirt; Teller's fingers drifted across his bare torso, lazy but hungry. Teller smirked up at Penn as his fingers moved down to brush against the front of Penn's pants.

Penn unbuttoned his pants and pulled them off along with his underwear. Both of them now naked, they drank in the sight of each other for a moment before Penn leaned back down towards Teller's lips again.

Teller stopped him with a hand on his chest. Penn gave him a puzzled look.

"Lube," Teller murmured. "Under the sink in the bathroom."

Penn went to go retrieve it without a word, throwing things out of the cupboard until he found the lube and returning quick as he could to the couch.

He stared down at Teller's naked body. Teller reached out a hand to his and Penn looked back into his eyes.

"Come here," Teller softly requested. Penn tuned out everything else and obeyed Teller's request, settling himself on top of the older man once more.

Teller wrapped a hand around the back of Penn's neck and pulled him into a passionate kiss, which Penn returned with equal passion. He pulled Teller's legs up over his shoulders, leaned up to look down into Teller's eyes as he covered his cock with the lube, both men breathing quickly.

Penn placed the tip of his cock at Teller's entrance, gripped the couch cushion beneath Teller, and as he leaned down to kiss Teller once more, he began to push inside.

Teller's fingers curled into his hair and Teller groaned into his mouth, the sound and the taste and the feel of Teller enveloping Penn, filling him with fire.

As he started to thrust in and out he couldn't help wondering just how many times Teller had been fucked on that couch when Penn wasn't around, but he quickly shut that thought out of his mind. It didn't matter. Didn't matter how many guys Teller had fucked. None of those guys had been Penn. None of them meant what this meant to both of them.

He gripped the couch cushion harder as he began to pick up speed, kissing Teller's neck and groaning into his ear and biting his earlobe. Teller's short fingernails scratched down his back and Teller's moans became desperate cries for release.

They reached it together, both of them gasping out each other's name and clutching at one another, and they stayed there like that on the couch holding one another for several moments.

Penn laid down between Teller's legs with his back against Teller's front, feeling their skin stick together with Teller's come and finding the feeling strange but sexy. He closed his eyes and laughed softly.

"What the fuck is so funny," asked Teller quietly, and Penn could hear the smile in his voice.

"I grew up idolizing gay guys," replied Penn, smiling as well. "I've performed alongside one as a magician for over five years... have lived with said gay magician for that amount of time... have moved into an apartment in _San Francisco_ with said gay magician... and have gone to a gay bathhouse and rubbed my cock against some guy's ass. And all that it took for me to realize I'm a homo is you being an asshole to me."

Teller grinned into Penn's hair, kissing the top of his head. "That's what I'm here for."


End file.
